I had a dream I travelled to the Moon. It felt so real that after that everytime I looked at the Moon I was sure I had been there. In the dream I felt that I was complitely alone in a place that was exciting, strange and isolated from everything else. What fascinated me most was the fact that I really enjoyed that loneliness. I was having an adventure inside my mind, in my subconscious. I don’t need company in that place. It’s my own world. That is also very self-centered way to think. It’s like I wouldn’t want to face the real world.
When I actually started my work many things changed. I was in a new country, in a strange place and I unconsciously started to combine my moon world and this new world where I was. Everyday I walked to school through a park. That felt comforting to me at least of two reasons. Firstly, it was beautiful and secondly, it was something that was stable. A new country felt chaotic and I needed something safe. In the beginning I was going to make the moonlandscape a cold place. But I needed a safe place. A place that I could feel comfortable in and I think that is the biggest reason my Moon started to become warm. And a surface of it started to look like the park I walked through at mornings.
Being in the Moon or in a new country is like being in chaos. I decided to jump into chaos but same time I couldn’t stand it. I can’t stay in chaos without trying to organize it. It is like a part of me is willing to change and another part of me wants to change the surroundings. There is always the tension between. I go to a new place because I want to grow but in the new place I immediately start to look for safety.